My Secret Affair

So, I need to confess that I have been seeing someone in Oklahoma City. It's actually been going on for awhile. I used to see her when I would travel out to OKC when I was with CNI. I've always fallen in love very quickly, and I'm completely head-over-heels for her.

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Her name is Braum's.

She's a little slice of heaven in Oklahoma Cty. In 1968, Bill and Mary Braum opened the first 24 Braum's Ice Cream and Dairy Stores in Oklahoma City. Now there are over 300 in four states. The Braums own 10,000 diary cows, which they milk 3 times a day, in order to make the best ice cream on the planet.

Braum's serves the 1/3 pound burger. That's right, they don't fuck around with the sissy "quarter-pounder", they give you 8% more hamburger up front. Braum's hamburgers are the absolute best hamburgers I have ever tasted. I will not argue about this. It's simply a fact. And they serve them with the thick "crinkle-cut" fries. I seriously think that they put crack on their burgers, or mix it in with the buns.

And the other thing is that you don't have to pass an act of congress in order to substitute a shake with your meal. THEY ENCOURAGE YOU TO DO IT. It's like they know they hooked you with the burger, what's a little sugar-smack to top it off, JUNKIE!? Yep, that's a milkshake with my 1/3 pound Jalepeno-Cheeseburger. Cookie-dough ice cream shake. Nuff said.

Anyway, the other fantastical thing about Braum's is that it's also got a little grocery store inside the fast food restaurant! Get your burger, then get a gallon of milk, some breakfast cereal, and a couple of steaks for the weekend! They used to have these awesome cherry-limeade hard candies, but they don't make them anymore. Let me tell you, the combination of fast food plus grocery store makes for some STRANGE customers. Then again, most everyone in Oklahoma is toothless with a mullet, shirtless, wearing flip flops and cut-off shorts, so, it's pretty much par for the course when you are standing in line behind Jed and Tater.

I guess I'm telling you all this so you won't be shocked when I come back to Albuquerque weighing 400 pounds. Love...sometimes she's a cruel bitch.

One other thing -

I know some of you have never had a Krispy Kreme donut, and, I'm sorry. I cheat on Braum's repeatedly with Krispy Kreme. KK is my little piece of fluff on the side. She's a cheap, quick fling, but, I get tired of her quickly and kick her out when I've had my fill. If Braum's and Krispy Kreme joined forces, I don't think I could make it.

Well, KK recently pulls some dirty shit -

That's right! The MULTI-GRAIN donut! It's now a HEALTHY DONUT! Hearty SEVEN-GRAIN! Is nougat a grain? I can eat as many as I want!

How can they put it next to the chocolate-sprinkles donut!? Those bastards! (Unfortunately, the "Hearty Seven-Grain" are pretty dry. Good job making one of my favorite things taste like cardboard. No wonder all of the KK's in Abq closed down.)

Okay, I lied. I think I figured out how to post a video here on Blogspot -

If this works, this is a very good video about what I will be doing. During the part where it says, "The plane is passed to an Air Route Traffic Control Center [ARTCC]" is me. That's what I will be doing. For those of you who thought that I would be on the tarmac with the orange sticks waving the planes to the gates, sorry...

A Quiet Saturday Night...

Hi everyone

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been feeling kind of off lately. It was really a rough week. I thought basics was hard, and I always knew that level 2 was just going to get harder, but, now that I'm in level 2, it's just insane. You have to learn the map, then you also have to learn the book work, as well as learn the proper way to clear an airplane to take off, land, and cross areas without flying into another aircraft's protected airspace. So, I'm trying to stuff three major areas of knowledge in my head, all while learning practically a new language.

On Friday, we did a walk thru with our first scenario - 7 planes. They weren't even landing or taking off. Just flying in my airspace. Three of them were flying at the same altitude. So, you have to move two of them. But when you move them, you put them on the same level as another aircraft. So, you have to give them restrictions - "Cross 6 miles soutwest of the Jackson Vortac (a ground-based measuring point), at or above 9 thousand [feet]" The problem is that if a plane is flying on a certain airway heading south and needs to decend, and another plane is going to intersect or cross that plane at the same altitute heading from west to east, DEPENDING ON THE ANGLE AT WHICH THEY ARE CROSSING, it determines how far away the first plane needs to decend before crossing the second plane. If the angle is only 15 degrees, the plane needs to decend 17 miles before crossing the second plane. If it is a 80 degree angle, then the plane only needs to cross 6 miles away. It's all basic geometry, and if you don't understand it, well, neither do I. Actually, I do get it, but, you need to be able to instantly recall the angles of the airways (called degrees divergence) for all the airways on the map.

I'm sorry, I'll get of the technical stuff. Needless to say, my brain was completely fried on Friday. I really felt like there was no way that I could do this. It was kind of depressing. The instructors keep saying, "It will come to you...It will come to you", but I just feel like i'm not really getting it...

We are shifting our schedule to nights next week. We work from 3:30pm-12:00pm. The instructors don't really know why, the standard answer seems to be that they need to share the classrooms and the equipment, so they alternate the schedule...So I'm staying up late tonight! I just got my body set to wake up at 4:00 am, and now I have to change it to sleep until 10. Thank god it's only for one week.

Not much else going on. I'll post a better post tomorrow.

We changed buildings - here is my new classroom:

Anyone want to guess where I sit again?

The Dynasty Returns

That's right! I'm saying it here right now. Celtics win their 17th NBA championship with Garnett, Pierce, and Allen.

On my X-mas list, Boston vs. Phoenix at the US Air Arena in Phoenix.

Boston is back! I don't want to hear any "BANDWAGON" bullshit. I'm calling it right now!

P.S. Minnesota - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

It's a wicked pissah!


Five players, two picks sent to Wolves for Garnett
ESPN.com news services
Updated: August 1, 2007, 11:52 AM ET

BOSTON -- Kevin Garnett gives Boston a new Big Three that brings the Celtics much closer to what their old Big Three delivered -- an NBA title.
The Celtics, who have 16 championships but have gone without one for more than two decades, obtained the former MVP and 10-time All-Star on Tuesday in a 7-for-1 deal -- the NBA's biggest trade for one player.

The Map

So. For level Two, I will have to draw this map of the Jackson, Mississippi airspace from scratch. They will sit you down, and give you a blank piece of paper, and have you draw every line, every radio frequency, every mileage distance, every marker, and every boundary, as well as every compass degree, and the angle between degrees (Meaning the 179 degree radial and the 164 degree radial have a 15 degree angle between them...)

On first inspection, I almost cried. But, the scary thing is, I'm starting to actually learn the airspace. Once that's done, they are going to put us in front of a radar with this airspace, and start throwing planes together. I can't wait. (I haven't decided if that is sarcasm or not. I'll tell you after the test.)

So, I got a 94% on my final.

I AM SO PISSED! I missed EASY questions. I should have gotten a 98% and tied for highest score.

On the first day, we took a pre-test, which was essentially the final. I got a 43% on the pretest. So, I increased my score by 51%. Still - I should have done better! I'm not gonna let that happen again. The slam dunks are gonna be slammed!

Now it's on to level two. Level one was just to introduce us all to aviation and air space.

If anyone is curious, here are some questions that are similar (but not exact) from the level one final:

An aircraft at sea level experiences temperatures of 15 degrees celcius. The aircraft increases it's altitude 3,000 feet, and the temperature is 21 degrees celcius. This is known as:

A. Lapse Rate
B. Inversion
C. Dew Point
D. Global Warming

The answer is inversion. Normally, as you increase your altitude, the temperature decreases. The standard lapse rate is -2 degrees celcius per 1000 feet, but, if you INCREASE temperatures as you increase altitudes (warm air on top of cold air), it's temperature inversion. I missed this one because I immediately thought "lapse rate". Agggggg!

In the following wind description 32040G25kts, which direction is the wind blowing to?

A. The northwest
B. The southwest
C. The northeast
D. The southeast

The answer is D, the southeast.

There are a few things you need to know just to be able to read the weather.
32025G40kts means, the wind is blowing FROM true heading 320 at 25 knots per hour, with winds gusting up to 40 knots. If 360 degrees is directly north, 90 degrees directly east, 180 degrees directly south, and 270 degrees directly west, then 320 falls between west, and north on a compass. You actually read this to pilots as, "Wind three two zero at two five, gusts four zero." Yes, you must say it like that, exactly, each time. So, knowing that wind is blowing FROM, 320, it's blowing TO 140, or, the southeast. I missed this one to, because, usually, you first look at where the wind is blowing FROM. On the news, when the weatherman says an "easterly wind" he means the wind is blowing FROM the east. So, I didn't read the question right and chose Northwest, the direction the wind is blowing FROM. DANG IT!!!!!!!

I don't know if any of you out there care about the information. It's scary to me that I understand it. Jeff said he was interested in some of the jargon we are learning. I'm slowly starting to get the "radio speak". "Depart Albuquerque cleared to Phoenix turn right heading two seven zero via Victor seventeen, climb and maintain one four thousand" means when you take off from ABQ, take a right and climb the aircraft to 14,000 feet. What?

Anyway, I've got to go. On to the next challenge!!!!!

Cool Links

Hey all!

Just a short post.

Unfortunately, I'm not able to embed videos on this blog (at least that I know of), so, i'll have to list some interesting links for you to see:

1. www.atcmonitor.com.
If you want to know EXACTLY what I will be doing, go to this site. It is a live feed from the Atlanta Center. When you go to the site, click on the "Center Radar" on the left menu. The sound you hear is actual en-route controllers (soon to be me) directing traffic. The radar is a composite, and doesn't update in real time, but, it's close. Even though I find the page facinating, i'm not sure what the commercial application is for this site. When I ask, the answer I've gotten is, "Well, aviation fanatics are a strange breed. They will sit in their offices and listent to the control of airplanes." Uh...ooooooooookay...

2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRcDvJE5HZ8
I don't know how many of you have access to YouTube, but, this is a neat video of a controller diverting planes around a weather system.

3. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpRdSCJ9wKY
Another YouTube video has a little higher production value. It's almost like a commercial, but, it's a pretty good explanation of who we (Air Traffic Controllers) are, and what we do. Most people think we are the guys on the tarmac that have the lights that guide the planes to the gate. It's a little out dated, but good.

4. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2TIumvr9x8
This video was done by and actual Air Traffic Controller. We all got a kick out of how...slow...he...talks. He...is...very...good... Anyway, this is a bit self-serving, but, you have to be a little cocky and confident to be a controller.

Generally, if you just type in "ATC" or "Air Traffic Control" in the YouTube search box, it will call up a bunch of neat ATC videos. Also, there are some pretty facinating and sad crash videos.
Try "plane crash", "Japan Air" (VERY Sad), and "L1011 Crash".

Take care...

FAA SCHOOL

Here is a picture of the classroom. Class starts at 7:00 am. I've been trying to get up at 4:30 so I can ride the bike before class. Needless to say, I've started drinking coffee again. There are 16 people in the class. Can you guess where I sit? Hmmm? Kyle. Alpha personality. I was the first one in the door on the first day. Where would I choose to sit? Thats right - Front row center. Second from the right on the inside row. It's good and bad. I can see all of the overheads and presentations better than everyone else. But, I also can't exactly fall asleep (as I've been close to doing) in front of everyone.

The "campus" is the Mike Monroney Aeronautical Center. Mike Monroney was apparently a state senator that was very influental in the aviation industry. No one really talks about him around campus. The campus really feels like a military base, without the military. I tried to take some pictures of some buildings outside, but, they are so plain and boxy (just like on base), that I didn't bother. Plus, I felt kind of akward walking around taking pictures of the buildings. In the post-911 world, that kind of stuff gets you pulled aside and questioned really quick.

Anyway, on the first day, they made everyone stand up and raise their right hands and take an oath to protect the constitution, uphold the values of federal employees, blah blah blah. It was kind of cheesy, but, at the same time, it was kind of cool. The instructors really played it up that we were all joining a very exclusive club, and our oath is a rite of passage.

This is a radar outside the classroom. The round portion is actually a primary radar (it reflects anything back), while the straight bar on top is secondary radar (it sends/receives a signal from a specific target). Its huge, and it spins constantly. As you can see, the buildings are classic 70's military deco. Its kind of odd, because there are no MPs around, as it's not a military base, but, you still have the feeling like you need to be very careful. They have the posted speeds like 15 mph like on a base. They have local security guards that are contractors. I'm not sure what kind of trouble you get in if you break any laws on campus. I'm not really trying to find out anyway.

Here is what we do on break. These are some of my classmates. We sit on a bench. Trust me, it's just as much fun as it sounds. We get a 10-15 minute break every hour. Yes, every hour. Sweet! How did I score this deal? Its really funny. I see so many parallels between FAA and BIA now. Really just "government" work in general. You should see when we don't get our breaks on the hour. People start getting bitchy! "Oh HELL no! I better gets my break!" "What is this shit?!" Some people are smokers, and they start jonesing for a hit like clockwork. Usually I try to get to the bathroom and splash some water on my face to wake up.

The worst are end of the week tests. Everyone comes out in the morning and starts comparing what the correct answers were. Then you just have to sit in misery while they grade the test. The funniest thing is taking the end of lesson tests (Each weekly test is comprised of 5-6 lessons). When you take an end-of-lesson test, you use the old green bubble scantron sheets that you used in grade school. However, when you are done, you actually go up to the grading machine in the front of class and run your test through and it is graded right there. The funny part is that if you miss an answer, it stamps the answer on your test, with a loud CLACK! Sometimes, when someone has done really bad on a test, it sounds like a machine gun. CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK. It's like the "walk of shame" to and from the grading machine. No one wants to go first, either. They don't want to grade their test in quiet room. Usually, I'm first to grade, because, I don't give a shit.

This is the first time it really hit me the seriousness of the tornadoes around here. These signs are posted everywhere. I'm not sure if there is any food or anything down there, but, essentially, when they tell you to, you grab your stuff, head down to the basement, and pray.

This is the sign on the second floor. If you are in a wheelchair during a hurricane, you are shit-outta-luck. You park your ass in a little nook in the stairwell. And according to the sign, if there is a major fire raging in the building, DO NOT BLOCK THE STAIRS, the able-bodied need to get through, you crippled son of a bitch!

Finally, the Aeronautical center is connected to the Will Rogers Airport. It's just to the southwest, and it buts right up agains the airport. I drive in from the south entrance, and every day before and after work, I would drive by this building. It's pretty heavily guarded, with thick black gates. It says, "Federal Transfer Service." I asked what it is. You know what they said? It's CON AIR! That's right. When the Federal Marshals fly convicts across the country, they stop here and fuel up! Where is Cyrus the Virus and Johnny 12? I was REALLY nervous about snapping this picture. It actually came out good, seeing as how I was driving and shooting at the same time. I kept waiting for U.S. Marshals to come tear-ass down the road to pull me over and confiscate my camera.

That's where I work...